I survived four hours of ESPN and lived to tell the tale

It was a great game but was it great enough to protect me from the brainwashing power of ESPN?

It was a great game but was it great enough to protect me from the brainwashing power of ESPN?

8:00 – Starting off my four hour ESPN binge. So far so good. A tasteful time lapse video of the grounds crew preparing the field after the Rose Bowl.

8:12 – After a series of bad commercials, including a promo for “Chozen,” (might be the worse cartoon ever) we see a spot for the new Chris Pine movie “Shadow Recruit” featuring the Auburn mascot. It promoted the movie and college football at the same time. Nice job advertisers.

8:16 – With the Florida State band blaring in the background, Lee Corso picks the Seminoles to win by dawning a throwback helmet. All of this occurs while Alabama coach Nick Saban awkwardly critiques Auburn. Shouldn’t he be recruiting or watching film? I’m sure Auburn fans muted the television whenever his face appears.

8:29 – Bo Jackson and Bobby Bowden hug each other at midfield for the coin toss. Cool sight.

8:32 – With smoke still on the field from opening fireworks, we have kickoff. Someone screwed up.

8:33 – Cam Newton introduces Auburn quarterback Nick Marshall, Another moment where Alabama fans muted the TV.

8:36 – Auburn calls a time-out after three plays. Anxious?

8:38 – Chris Weinke reappears out of nowhere to introduce Jameis Winston. The fact I know who Chris Weinke is makes me feel old.

8: 46 – Start checking out the “spider” cam on ESPN 3. It’s just a sky cam but I love hearing the game audio as oppose to the announcing. No commercials but no replays either. FSU is up 3-0.

8:53 – Turn to ESPN 2 for “Title Talk” and instantly regret it. Michael Smith, Jemelle Hill, Rece Davis, Jesse Palmer, and someone with a southern accent I can’t identify. Shouldn’t Jesse Palmer should be watching the bachelor instead?

9:01 – The woman I couldn’t identify was Cheryl Hines from “Suburgatory.” Disney is just doing everything it can to promote itself.

9:04 – Touchdown Auburn. The Title Talk on ESPN 2 is crazy mismatch of personalities that will be on Awful Announcing soon. Even Taylor Hicks from American Idol would later enter the room. Changing the channel at warp 8.

9:16 – The best tweet so far comes from Pat Forde.

9:24 – Touchdown Auburn on a 50-yard pass. So much for that great FSU defense.

9:30 – Florida State’s offense looks lost. Winston might have been too loose coming into the game.

9:43 – Auburn misses a chip shot field goal. Still only up 14-3. Might be a turning point for FSU.

9:46 – Florida State fumbles giving the ball right back to Auburn. So much for turning point. A friend texted me saying the score will end up being 45-24 Auburn. It kills him that the SEC is dominating another BCS title game.

9:50 – Touchdown Auburn, 21-3. This could get ugly.

9:58 – Touchdown Florida State, 21-10. Nice to see the Noles quickly get off the mat.

10:06 – Half ends on a punt, how exciting.

10:22 – More Nick Saban offering analysis on how Florida State can get back into the game. How does this make Auburn fans feel?

10:34 – After a three an out for FSU, Auburn nearly fumbles the fair catch. Still not looking good for the Seminoles.

10:46 – Went back to Title Talk and low and behold, Johnny Football is in the room eating food. And get this, they are actually having an intelligent conversation on life after winning the Heisman trophy.

Maybe the "spider" cam should become the primary viewpoint in football broadcasts. It's like playing Madden.

Maybe the “spider” cam should become the primary viewpoint in football broadcasts. It’s like playing Madden.

10:49 – Auburn forces another three and out to protect its 21-13 lead. I thought the experts said this defense was going to give up six yards a play.

11:03 – James Franklin of Vanderbilt is taking a lot of time on the “title talk” set. Also gives a sarcastic conspiracy theory as to how Vandy almost loss to Houston in the BBVA Compass Bowl. Houston fans must be throwing the remote at the TV after hearing that joke.

11:08 – After three quarters it’s Auburn 21-13.

11:10 – Holy Cow, a trailer for the new Lego movie. How did Morgan Freeman and Liam Neeson sign up for this.

11:20 – Check out ESPN NEWS in the “Film Room” So much better than the chaos of Title Talk. Meanwhile FSU gets an interception and scores a touchdown. Auburn still leads 21-20 as the two point conversion option is taken out due to an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. Kirk Herbstreit and Brent Musburger love the call. I do not. Too big of a stage for that flag.

11:29 – Tre Mason has been carrying Auburn on the ground like he has all year. If he breaks one it’s all over.

11:32 – Auburn bleeds the clock with a long drive but only gets a field goal to make it 24-20. Don’t think that’s good enough.

11:34 – Improbable touchdown on a kickoff for FSU. 27-24. Viewed it on Fan cam as the Seminole fans went nuts in the bottom left corner.

Go Crazy FSU fans! Except for the guy in the corner who never moved.

Go Crazy FSU fans! Except for the guy in the corner who never moved.

11:36 – Friend who thought FSU was about to get rolled is befuddled when he turns the game back on. “How are they ahead?”

11:39 – Auburn converts on third and long as Marshall escapes the rush. Another miracle in the works?

11:46 – Tre Mason finally breaks one for a nice touchdown. 31-27. FSU’s defense is clearly winded.

11:52: – Winston completes a 49-yard pass to Rashad Greene with a touchdown saving horse collar tackle the refs missed. Under a minute to go and FSU must get a touchdown.

11:55 – Auburn’s secondary miscommunicated on a 1st down play from 12 yard line. Lucky to get an incompletion as the coverage was a traffic jam of Tigers running into each other.

11:57 – On third down the Tigers get too physical in their press coverage as Chris Davis is called for pass interference in the end zone. Only a matter of time now.

11:58 – Touchdown FSU on first and goal. The Seminoles have successfully completed their first miracle comeback of the season. And they picked the best time to do it too.

12:03 – Ball Game. Congratulations to Florida State on their undisputed National Championship. Not every BCS title winner can say “undisputed.” Hopefully that will change in the playoff format. Bye bye BCS.


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